***To quickly update my newest readers(hi!), I’m a full-time, single mama of a 2 and 3 year old.***
It’s like 52 card pick up, only it’s toothpicks and toddlers.
Today’s task to accomplish: Blow the massive piles of leaves littering our yard over the hill.
That’s it! Simple, right?! Right… *ahem*
Ok, to be completely upfront, this was yesterday’s task. I even promised. I failed. I could say it’s because I stayed busy all morning cleaning and organizing(truth), put the littlest down for a late nap(truth), and as I was contemplating whether or not the leaf blower’s loudness would wake the baby, my 3-nager, who’d just fallen asleep on the couch, woke up dry heaving(truth). His earlier complaints of his stomach hurting made me rush to his side, but not quickly enough(of course…). Couch, check. Shirt, check. Blanket, carpet, and mom’s cupped hands, triple check. I got him stripped, cleaned up, and the couch sprayed. I got him situated again, and then the littlest woke up. I said to myself, “Fuck the leaves.”.
After breakfast, flirting, and heaps of procrastination, I headed outside. I quickly decided I’d picked a really stupid day to blow leaves. It was drizzly and the leaves were wet, but at least it wasn’t bitterly cold like it had been earlier in the week!
My snapchat account is only really used about once a week. When I do remember to check it, the munchkins normally demand to participate(because who doesn’t like to be made into make believe characters and have funny voices?!). Today, I decided to show off my greater intelligence, by snapchatting part of my leaf blowing experience. Immediately after, you guessed it, I lost my phone amidst the army of leaves.
Insanely stressed Randa was then on her knees, hand searching through a wet yard full of rotting vegetation. I got the ingenious idea to call my phone. Here’s where that idea gets tricky…
1) The phone I lost isn’t connected to a conventional phone plan. I bought the phone secondhand online. I use it for its awesome picture taking capabilities and its ability to connect to wifi. When connected, it DOES have a texting/call app. I was hoping that the lost phone was close enough to the house to even pick up internet signal.
2) My normal cell phone was not only dead, but it doesn’t get service where I live. I seriously have to like stand on 1 foot with my tongue attached to a makeshift antennae with the phone precisely in a very specific spot in order to get 1 bar of service. Difficult to accomplish when it’s attached to a cord charging.
3) I just recently downloaded the phone app, so I didn’t have my secondary number saved anywhere, including my other cell phone.
4) I couldn’t send a message(because charging and no service) or get a response to find out what my number was(is) in order to try calling it from the house phone.
5) I have a toddler handled tablet. Which means it’s dysfunctional as all get up. I tried, and I mean, I REALLY tried to send out an S.O.S. to Facebook land in search of anyone who knew my “other” phone number. I couldn’t get past, “Hey, does anyone know my $$$%/”. No matter the direction I turned the tablet, I couldn’t get it to type numbers. This isn’t including the multitude of times I typed incorrect letters because the tablet is broken, and I couldn’t remember which direction the tablet had to be facing in order to backspace…
6) I gave up all hopes of finding the number and calling my lost phone.
I went back to being the frazzled looking woman wandering her large yard and inconsistently moving leaves/sticks/small mounds of earth around with her hands.
I’m sure I looked sane…
And then there’s the toddlers. Prior to me losing my phone, they were super good “helpers” outside. After I lost my phone, they were long gone inside reeking toddler havoc in the house. While I was trying to find a way to call my phone, they were busy hunting and gathering fruit snacks. They tried really hard to get me to open them, but I was on a one track mission to find my phone.
Sometime during my search, I decided the universe was possibly telling me to rescue Bella’s thorn imprisoned soccer ball from our long forgotten, late summer game. I also thought the universe(please read: my brain, possible Gods, higher spiritual beings, etc) was telling me this was a good lesson in not being so reliant/dependant on my flippin smart phone! I went and grabbed the hedge cutters, and went to town hacking the thorn bushes that were fiercely protecting the long lost soccer ball. I saved it! But my toddlers were now outside again, carrying unopened fruit snack packages. Oh shit, my youngest is barefoot! And I’m being hugged by thorns I previously cut down… I managed to accrue a few war wounds, hopefully didn’t rip any new holes in my winter coat, and brought the ball and munchkins to safety. Once I decided to stop being selfish and open my baby loves’ snack, I went back to searching, in the rain, did I mention it was raining?!
I FOUND IT!!!!!!!! Saved by the leaves from the rain. Hip, hip, hooray!
Once I got my phone to safety, I realized I still had a task to complete…
With the tots waving, signing, and dancing to me from inside the floor to ceiling window, I blew, blew, and blew some more(leaves…). Oriana came outside barefoot again. She wanted a nap, but I was determined to get my chore done. I picked her up and continued on. I got a full body work out kicking and blowing leaves, while toddler holding.
I washed about a billion loads of laundry today, got zero put away. Argued intensely with headstrong toddlers. And still managed to feed them a semi healthy dinner(that was a fight, too). My youngest just passed out for the evening, and my 3-nager is still mad at life.
Somehow, I managed to type this out. On my once lost, deeply treasured phone. I also transferred a yard full of heavy, wet leaves down the hill. I feel accomplished even though my dining room table is overflowing with clothes. *shrugs*